I have always maintained the scariest trait of Trump is not just what he says to the crowds to rile them up, or his narcissism, or lack of mastery of language, or his fake orange-tan, or lies. While all of those are scary on their own, it is his lack of shame I fear most. Most of us do not give shame the credit it deserves. Shame is one of the most effective tools we, the people, have to keep powerful people in check.
The focus of shame is on the self or the individual; it is the only emotion that is dysfunctional for the individual and functional at a group level
Parsa, S. (2018). Psychological Construction of Shame in Disordered Eating. New Psychology Bulletin, 15(1), 11-19
It is shame that forces corrupt politicians to change, or resign before their terms are over. It is shame or the threat of it, that keeps politicians from going too far. Shame is like a snowball. At first, it’s difficult to feel it. As it grows, maybe someone will bring it up. Just like a snowball rolling down a hill, it begins to pickup mass, and as such, you may get people protesting. As it continues to roll, there may be calls in the media, twitter, Facebook, etc (right or left) for action. If it gets big enough, even politicians from the same party will jump in and demand revision. Finally, the ball gets so big that you are left with no other option than to accept it, apologize, and adjust.
The apology is an important aspect of shame. The apology is a handle the opposition (we, the people) can use to rein you back in the future. In order to have shame, you need to have the ability to analyze yourself and your actions, in relation to what others think. However, a person with NPD cannot.
Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
Most of us go through life without much thought about the different emotions that guide our society. You or I are polite to others because we can sympathize. You or I may donate to charitable causes because we empathize with their cause or current situation. You or I may tone down our voices at the movie theater because we do not want the feeling of being hushed. And you or I may or may not do many things we’d otherwise for fear of being shamed.
Of course, everyone’s feelings are different, and no two people will exactly agree on every feeling. However, as a whole, we do. It is when we do, we demand change. It is when we do, people in power are woken up to the idea they need to adjust their rhetoric.
I will give you two examples of shamelessness.
Trump’s business success
As you may have read, the New York Times was able to find Trump’s tax returns from the 80s and 90s. Not surprisingly, Trump was not the businessman he claimed to be. During the campaign, there were noises that Trump was not as rich as he claimed. I recall reading a report on Trump’s casinos in Atlantic City and the business disaster they had been for his organization. I recall reading about all of the people Trump had screwed out of payments for work they had done.
I recall reading about his failures in almost every business you can imagine, from online Universities, to airlines (Trump Shuttle), to steaks (yes, beef steaks), to chocolate, to more than 35 other business that you may have never heard of. All of that said, credit should be given where it’s due. Trump is persistent. If one business didn’t work, he moved to the next. That is not a bad trait to have. We should encourage more people to do this.
However, shame, would keep most of us from publishing a book called The Art of the Deal, wherein we would claim how successful a business person we were. Is there anything wrong with publishing a book called The Art of Persistence, no. How about a book called Never Give Up. But how could you look at people in their eye and tell them you were a successful business person when in fact you were losing hundreds of millions of dollars annually? It makes no sense, unless you have no shame.
Government Shutdown of 2018-2019
Earlier this year, the Federal Government was shut down for 35 days. The shutdown meant federal employees from agencies like the Military, FAA, FBI, DEA EPA, DOC, etc, were not getting paid. Most Americans live paycheck to paycheck so while everyone got back-pay once the shutdown was over, a lot of these employees had to find creative ways to make a living until the shutdown ended.
Most federal employees do not live in barracks or in federal housing. Most federal employees have mortgages or landlords who expect to get paid on the 1st. Sure, you may say, but these mortgage-holders (banks) and landlords knew about the shutdown, so they would have been understanding of the situation, no? Why would they? Why should they? They too may be living paycheck to paycheck and have other responsibilities themselves. And who would they blame? The point is that a shutdown is a bad idea for the people and citizens, though a powerful lever for politicians (and of course, their pay is not affected during a shutdown).
The Federal budget works like this:
1. The President submits a budget request to Congress
2. The House and Senate pass budget resolutions
3. House and Senate Appropriations subcommittees “markup” appropriations bills
4. The House and Senate vote on appropriations bills and reconcile differences
5. The President signs each appropriations bill and the budget becomes law
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/budget-basics/federal-budget-101/federal-budget-process/
For 5 weeks, Trump said he’d not sign a budget unless it included funding for his wall. He claimed to receive letters and emails from federal employees that cheered him on. The shutdown was the perfect storm in a way, because the Republican-controlled congress was revamped to a Democratic majority during the elections of 2018. Since Trump’s election in 2016, he’d enjoy a Republican majority in the house and senate. Trump could have requested money for his wall in 2017 and 2018 and he did. But in both years, political leaders from his own party advised against it and he never got his border-wall money.
Instead, Trump bide his time and was rewarded with someone to blame, the Democratic majority in congress. As most expected, he submitted his budget request and it was denied by the new Democratic congress and the shutdown began December 22, 2018.
Trump knew he had leverage with his rhetoric that it was the Democrats keeping the government shut down. But as the days turned into weeks, pressure began to mount. During the first few days of the shutdown, when you assume it will get resolved soon, as a Federal employee you may even support the idea. As time goes on, and you miss your first paycheck your point of view begins to shift. Suddenly you begin to wonder if a shutdown makes sense. As a citizen, your point of view also begins to shift. Suddenly, you too realize there are a bunch of necessities the federal government provides; keeping travel safe, helping to keep flights safe, keeping parks clean, making sure our drinking water is not contaminated, providing an updated database of criminal history for job applicants, etc.
By week 4, everyone was fed up with the shutdown and just wanted it over… wall or no wall. Finally, 35 days later, on January 25, 2019 a budget without the money he had requested for the wall was passed and approved by Trump.
What would shame do? It would keep us from saying “this was in no way a concession“. It would keep us from saying “… in 21 days, if no deal is done, it’s off to the races!” Alas, Trump has none. Trump claimed victory after 35 days of the longest shutdown in history which resulted in nothing, but misery for everyone else.
2024?
It is for this reason that I fear Trump the most, his shamefulness. There are many possible outcomes between now and 2024. Trump could get re-elected and as a citizen of this democracy, I am obligated to respect the wishes of the majority. Trump could get impeached and forced to resign. Trump could get us into another never-ending war. Or worse, when his time to leave office came, 2020 or 2024, he could simply refuse. He could summon the support he enjoys and paint his stay as a “pay-back” for all of the investigations (he’s already began that). He could say the election was rigged. We could be in a war of his making, and thus he could say he had to stay during these difficult times. The point is that there are no limits to what he would be willing to do to stay in power.
One of the most important findings in the Mueller Report was the fact that a President cannot be indicted while in office. Trump and his attorneys know this and he has to see his final day in office as a ticking time-bomb. What would he do to remain free? That is what keeps me up at night.
